This week has been pretty incredible, to say the least. Kyle and I are back in Ecuador. It feels so incredible to be back doing the things we love with the people that we love. This week’s mantra was to always remain in awe. I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world; the rolling mountains in various shades of green paired with blue skies, and the most incredible tropical fruits surrounded by rich and vibrant culture. Last year when Kyle and I moved here I was so amazed by my daily life; by the things and by the people that surrounded me and the way my coworkers gave of themselves relentlessly. Forming relationships with people that do not speak my native language and bonding and laughing through broken Spanish with an abundance of ridiculous hand motions and facial expressions. Traveling through terrain that was once only a dream of mine. Staying in awe is challenging for me. Everything becomes work eventually, right? Well no. I have started to disagree. I mean, no experience will remain the most incredible. Everything wears off with time. It is a part of the human condition. I actually became familiar with the concept in a college economic class. Human wants and desires are infinite, so we as humans will never feel satisfied with the things that we have and we will always want more and more; the vicious cycle of want is never going to stop. Not naturally anyway. I think this concept applies to all aspects of life. Relationships, job, status etc. We will always want more, so let’s call it the “more syndrome”. This is not always a bad thing. I think it helps tremendously with self-betterment and accomplishing the goals that we have in life.
Well, you see, I suffer from the more syndrome. Bad. I am happy for a moment but once something becomes old I just sort of get tired of it and want something else, something different, something that makes me feel again. The first morning I woke up in Ecuador I was in absolute awe. I could not believe that I was living this life. I could not believe that I was going to be able to look outside my window and see a beautiful magnificent volcano. I just could not fathom it.
I noticed about six months in that I was a little bored. Nothing really startled me anymore. It was all sort of just “my life” and a little unsatisfying. I wanted more. I wanted to see another part of the world and to be amazed again. Coming back this time I realize that living in awe and amazement is a decision. The more syndrome is a choice. I can be content and see the beauty in the present moment and in the situation that I am in, or I can try and escape from it by living in the future. But how many of us are truly happy living solely for the life that we might one day be able to have?
A lot of new and exciting things happened this week. I was reunited with all the beautiful kids. I was really nervous about where Kyle and I would be living, but that has been sorted out and we now live in a rental house down the road. Which again I was a little nervous about at the beginning, but am really excited about making it a comfy place for Kyle and myself. This is the first time we have lived in a house everything else has been apartments. The first house part is pretty exciting. It is taking a lot of work. We do not have hot water and have many, many nights of deep cleaning, but the positive is that it is our space and a project for us.
Oh, and I got a beautiful puppy COYA. Which means queen in Quechua (Native Ecuadorians). She is a Neapolitan Mastiff and oh so beautiful, and perfect. I have wanted a dog ever since Kyle and I got married. Kyle is not a dog person. I, on the other hand, am a major dog person and it took three years and a really funny story for Kyle to finally cave and accept Coya. She is going to be the guard dog for our house which is awesome.
I feel like I am starting to find my place back in everything. As I have stated many times anxiety is a real struggle of mine. I was so nervous that upon returning I wouldn’t find my place back here, and that things wouldn’t be the same. I can say that so far things are awesome. I am a worker. I love to work. I have to work. I get really down and low when I am not busy with a long, preferably non-ending, to-do list. I live for crossing out lines on my to-do list. It’s just so satisfying. Anyways, It looks like I am going to start doing some educational type things with the kids here at the Hacienda which I am really excited about. I love the kids and I love teaching people things. Those are both strengths of mine. I am also going to be doing some photography type stuff, which again is something I really love and is a strength of mine. I feel incredibly blessed that God answered my prayers. There are still a lot of gray areas, but I have absolute faith that all of that is going to be filled in with beautiful and vibrant colors in time as long as I’m willing to be patient and accepting of the process.
I have started seeing my life as this process. I have started seeing it as a skill that is taking a lot of time to build, like a painter who is just learning how to paint is creating my story. She does not have it all together in the beginning. She only has a vision of a vibrant life with purpose and meaning, and in order to create this vision she will have to put in endless hours of time. There are a lot I mean a lot of mistakes made, things that she tried to erase or paint over but that all still exists, And within time and lots of consistent practice, passion, love, and patience, this vision and this painting will come together. It is not perfect because nothing is, but it is honest and it is her masterpiece, and in time it will be finished, and hopefully appreciated by many now and for the rest of time. Hopefully, when people stumble upon it, it will have some sense of value and the hard work that it took to create this life will show through to those viewing it from the outside.
This next week is full of tasks. Just the way I like it, and I am so excited to be sharing this journey with you all. I started weekend wrap up as something to motivate me to keep writing and to keep sharing. My doctor recommended me to find a hobby and stick with it forever; really, this blog has become my hobby and I love it so much and always look forward to sharing things with you all. Readership has been growing a lot lately, and the comments and messages I have been receiving have been so encouraging. So I want to thank you all for taking the time to read all that I have to say, and for actually starting discussions with me about it all. It truly means so much to me.
Thank you so much for reading this weekend wrap up! I hope you have an incredible week!